I'm gonna have a badass scar
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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