it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
