i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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