Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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