We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He kissed a someone with a penis
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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