we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
