is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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