he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize