I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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