shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My brain says no but my pants say off.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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