So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
whose parrot is this?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize