Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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