let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
