Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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