Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
