I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
