It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize