we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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