That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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