Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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