I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
