$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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