i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
