Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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