I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
