I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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