My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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