I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
