Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
