i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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