After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
