question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You are a genius and a whore.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
