Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
