It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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