You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
