There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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