During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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