Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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