i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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