Christians are straight up FREAKS
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
