Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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