I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
