I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
