thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
