where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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