I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
