I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
