Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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