nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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