If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
