i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
