just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
