I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
