I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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