Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
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I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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