If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
