The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this just has baby written all over it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I have post one night stand depression
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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