I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
