I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i drank out of a bidet.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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