Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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