Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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